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[06 May 2006|09:06pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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hey,
i'm at rob's work right now while he finishes whatever he had to finish. we just got back from rob's aunts house. they had a birthday party for me, aunt jeanette, and jim. it was fun. i hadn't eaten all day so i totally pigged out once the food was ready lol. i got over 100 bucks from his family....that made me very happy cuz i am quite poor. i like it when i get money for doing something as easy as being born 20 years ago. next friday my mom is gonna take me and rob out to dinner for my birthday, then saturday i have a wedding shower to go to for my cousin, then jim and debbie are gonna go out to dinner with us. that should be fun....we haven't really gotten to hang out with them since she first got pregnant with riley.
monday i start my spring class. i'm kind of excited i guess...just hope i don't get lazy lol. so yeah i have next friday and saturday off....and i wanna go clothes shopping at some point in time next weekend. i need summer clothes pretty bad. not shorts though....i hate wearing shorts....i feel like i'm a naked beached whale....and i don't like that lol. but capries are okay...so i will definantly be purchasing some of those.
man i'm bored...i hope he hurries up! well i guess i will let you go. i'm really bored and i wish i had more to write about but i'm afraid i don't. bye!!!
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[05 May 2006|03:30pm] |
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anxious |
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hello,
i'm so excited that i don't have to close tonight. i hate staying at that place til 1 am. i went there to get my check earlier and scott still didn't have the checks done...i was pissed. i don't understand why he doesn't do the checks thursday night, then he would have them done and we wouldn't have to keep bugging him about our checks...er.
i think i'm gonna go to emily and joes house tonight. hopefully rob wants to go....sometimes rob is lame lol.
rob's aunt is having a birthday party for me and his brother tomorrow. its family stuff, but his family is pretty cool so its not that bad. hopefully the cake is good....mmmm cake.
even though i don't have to close tonight i still don't wanna fucking go. i'm so lazy today i just wanna chill out with friends and do nothing all day. i wanna be 14 again cuz then i would have the whole summer off and do whatever i want while my mom and dad worked to pay the bills. ahh those were the days. i start my class at delta on monday. i dunno i just gotta get it done. hopefully the class is as cool as the students online said it was lol.
well i'm running out of things to talk about so i suppose i will let you go....ttyl bye
brooke
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| yeah |
[28 Apr 2006|03:19pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
hey,
i'm just bored and i'm basically waiting to go to work....i don't wanna work tonight. it wouldn't be so bad if i didn't have to stay there til 1 am. i don't understand why we have to stay there that late....we barely ever have customers after 8. whatever.... i guess scott will just have to pay me for sitting on my ass for a few hours while i sit there and watch the door that never opens.
rob and i are probably going to be moving to detroit. i'm gonna miss bay city if we do move. i've never lived anywhere else but bay city. i don't even think i would be capable of driving in detroit....i can barely drive here lol. i'll certainly miss everyone here too.
i don't have much else to say i guess. oh.....i get to go to my aunt joy's with rob on the 4th of july so rob can see the place....and so i can start making wedding plans down there. so thats kind of exciting...plus rob and i can both use a little vacation for sure. well i'm gonna go check on my laundry and beat the shit out of my crappy dryer cuz it never actually DRIES the clothes.
brooke
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| hello again |
[15 Apr 2006|08:14pm] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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music |
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are you happy now...i think thats what its called |
] |
hi,
i'm at rob's work right now waiting for him to get done with whatever he had to do. earlier i was hanging out with darci. it was so fun cuz it was so frickin nice out. i think i got myself a little bit of a tan.....or a burn...i guess i'll know later lol. so yeah we had a few beers together and spent the day outside in the sun around a little camp fire. i never started a camp fire by myself, i was so proud of myself once i actually got it going. it took a lot of work but darci and i finally did it. rob just got a new car and he spends more time with it than he does with me. its kind of funny watching him obsess about his car though.
i got a chinchilla not too long ago! i named him gizmo cuz you can't get them wet. yeah i was all proud of myself when i came up with that name lol. my mom was kind of mad at me when i got gizmo though cuz i ended up spending all of my tax return money on that lol. i can't help it....i blame it on rob for taking me into a pet store....i'm a sucker for animals lol.
i guess rob fucking bitched kevin out last night. he just hates him cuz of our past....what are ya gonna do though? it would have been kind of funny to see rob bitching him out though....cuz well he kind of deserves it ya know? i got out at like one in the morning last night cuz i had to close for a girl that i work with ...she has mono apparently. rob said he saw her at the bar last night though and she was wasted so that kind of pissed me off.....oh well i guess i got more hours. rob met me at ryans last night and then we went to mike serours party. the party was pretty fun....for the most part. ryan ended up getting kicked out though cuz someone there said he was on the sex offenders list. mike even went online before he kicked ryan out and i guess the website said he slept with a girl that was under the age of 13. thats fucked up....i didn't even know how to feel about that. he's like my best guy friend....and then i find out he's a fucking sex offender.....how exactly do i react to that one ya know? darci and i definantly decided after we found that out that we really should just not hang out with ryan anymore. its kind of hard for me though....cuz i've hung out with ryan like almost every day for the past two years....its just wierd i guess.
well i dont really have anything else to ramble on about at the moment so i will talk to everyone later.
brooke trout
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[06 Oct 2005|05:25pm] |
You are Rocko.
You are very determined. You are always willing to
give advice and help out a person in need but
sometimes you can be very stressed out. You
show incredible courage whether its facing
dangerous machinery like vacuum cleaners or
taking care of his brainless dog spunky.
Which cartoon describes your personality?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| long time no write |
[06 Oct 2005|05:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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anxious |
] |
hey,
so i think i know what i wanna be for halloween. i'm gonna be a female gangster....its an expensive/slutty costume.....but i'm gonna save some money for it. its been a long time since i went all out for halloween, so i wanna have fun with my costume. i don't have very many good ideas for rob's birthday present....i need help from a guy....i think i might go shopping with his brother or something. or perhaps his mom.....she doesn't know a whole lot about cars but shes experienced in buying things for him that he likes lol. i know i wanna get him cover seats for his car....and just for a little thing i think i'm gonna get him an address book cuz he's always losing addresses lol. i don't know what to get him though that i know he will really like.... sigh. i've never had to buy a guy a present besides my brother. with my brother all you have to do is get him a gift certificate to best buy and he's happy lol.
i think i'm getting a job as a weightress at g's pizzeria. i haven't weightressed since i was 16 though so i'm kind of nervous about it. rich is gonna be so pissed and i'm excited about that lol. i think i deserve a raise there compared to the people he has been hiring there. my god where does he find these morons.
so my mom came over last night out of the blue and just walked in and started cleaning my room lol. she was like see you do still need me so don't act like you don't!!! i was like oooooook whatever makes you happy and cures your empty nest sindrom. i wonder how long this will go on lol....its kind of cool that she insists on doing my laundry and stuff like that, but at the same time i like being independent for once in my life....and shes ruining that for me.
i have the day off today so i actually get to spend time with rob. that will be nice for a change. i work so much but my pay checks are soo small....i don't understand lol. well i'm gonna wait for him to come home and figure out what we're doing tonight. ttyl bye
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| yeah thats right i'm still alive |
[13 Jun 2005|01:42pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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notta |
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well my life isn't very exciting. i spend every day with rob, thats nice....it makes stressing out at work all day worth while once i get out. i work at kfc/taco belle again....fuckin hooray. last night i looked at my schedule for next week....rich had promised me a lot of hours cuz i want to move out and i need the money.....guess how many hours i have this week.....16 hours!!!! thats fucking rediculous. i imediately started bitching at rich and he was like don't freak out you'll get your hours...their was just no getting around it this week. i was like well if i don't start getting a decent amount of hours i'll quit and you'll be screwed again lol. i chuckled cuz i know its true...the help they have their right now....besides rachel, autumn, megan, and kari......is complete crap. a girl that i was working with last night has worked there for almost a year now...she is the slowest motherfucker i have ever seen on taco belle line. you would think if you saw all your orders pending you would pick up the speed....but no, she maintained the same slow ass speed as if she only had one order. i didn't freak out on her though...i was proud of myself. instead i just knocked that bitch out of the way and ran drive through and made my orders myself. sometimes ya just gotta....well, knock the bitches out the way lmao. well i have a meeting with my english teacher from bulgaria (how much of an oximoron is that lol). i'm out like sour crout!
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| there comes a time when a blind man says, don't you see? |
[24 Mar 2005|12:54pm] |
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hey kids,
last night after i got out of work, i did pete (this kid i work with) a favor. i met his g/f and everything, shes nice, kind of an odd couple, but i guess thats why it works lol. after that i picked joe up. when i got there he was all dressed nice and stuff cuz he hasn't been out of the house in days lol. he was like far too excited to go watch a movie and smoke, it was cute. so i told his sister kelli that the phsycic (sp) said joe and i would have a relationship, but it would get negative. she also said that joe would lie to me, and blah blah blah (you get the point). then kelli started freaking out lol, i was like KELLI, SHE ALSO SAID I WAS PREGNANT....CLEARLY I'M NOT CUZ I HAVE PMS LIKE NONE OTHER!! she laughed but i could tell she was still thinking about it. when her, joe, michael, and i were hanging out last night she just kept watching joe and i and smiling. i dunno, kind of creeped me out. i sometimes get the feeling that shes hoping we'll be together for a while. i think shes counting on it more than i am. i've never seen her act like that though, i've never seen her give me and joe such a deep look before. with joe, whatever happens happens in my eyes. yeah it would be nice to be with him, but things sometimes don't work out. i'm along for the ride (no pun intended lol.)
ryan called me today from emily's phone and started freaking out on me cuz apparently he was up all night waiting for me to come over. i guess i said i was coming over for sure, i thought i said maybe, but i guess i was wrong. i wasn't really listening to him once he got pissy. thats one thing the phsycic did hit right on the nose, i'm good at blocking out people when i don't want to hear what they have to say. exceptionally good if i must say so myself.
i saw my lawyer on tuesday. he's going to try to get all the alcohol related charges dropped, that way i would only get 3 points on my license (instead of 6) and my license would be suspended for a year. i don't really care about that, i would be very happy with a restricted license b/c at this point i just want to make sure i will still be able to drive to school and work, thats what i care most about. for social things i'm more than sure i can get rides. joe didn't get his license back yet, not sure when he will get it back. he did however, get told by his probation officer that he just has to call in now for his appointments. the only drug tests he will have to take now will be court related. that was good news, i would be so stressed out if i had to get a drug test every month lol.
after i get out at 4 today, i'm suppost to call ryan cuz he's being gay, and i'm supposed to call kelli cuz shes still in bay city helping michael clean up his new house.
pete wants me to do another favor for him today, but i think i might just ignore his phone calls cuz i don't wanna bug louie and jeneane anymore. i went over there twice yesterday lol, i feel like i'm getting on their nerves. not jeneane acutally, shes a good friend of mine, but louie gets pissy sometimes and its hard to tell when he's in one of his "i want quiet time" moods.
the guitarist from the grateful dead is in a band called ratdog and on april 2nd a bunch of us are gonna go see them!! i'm so excited! i can't wait til this summer, theres gonna be so many dead concerts....i want to go to them all! lol. i think for ratdog...so far...we have me, dave, woody, kevin, ryan, maybe andrea cuz i told her about it today, a bunch of dave's friends....i dunno i'm sure more will decide to go once it gets closer to the date. we will probably end up getting a hotel room for all of us cuz it prolly won't be a good idea for any of us to drive home. at least i won't have to worry about drinking and driving lol I'M WON'T EVEN BE ALOUD TO DRIVE BY THAT TIME!! I'M IN THE CLEAR LOL.
well, i suppose i have rambled on enough for now....i will ttyl bye!!
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| i'm still alive |
[13 Mar 2005|08:18pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
] |
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music |
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a perfect circle |
] |
yeah thats right, i'm still alive. yeah a lot has happened since the last time i talked to you fine people. the most recent events in my life have been the most eventful i would have to say.
thursday night i spent the night in jail. yeah i blame it on my mom.....not entirely obviously, but if she would have just listened to me i wouldn't have to go to court on the 29th. so yeah......i was coming home, and i was turning on my road. i will admit that i had a few beers, but i felt completly fine to drive, otherwise i wouldn't have. so yeah i ended up sliding into the ditch, so i left my car there and walked home. when i got home i told my mom what happended and that we should probably wait until tomorrow to call the tow truck guy. of course she was drunk and had to do it NOW! so she called the place, and sounded not sober when she was talking to the guy. then we went and drove down to where my car was, and suddenly a cop pulls up. he made my mom get out of the car, and before he got there my mom told me to tell him that she was driving the car so it wouldn't ruin our insurance. next thing i know shes getting a breathalizer, thats when i knew i was fucked. then the cop called me out of the car, asked who was driving the car, so i told him my mom was (as i was instructed to.) the cop proceeds to tell me that my mom told him i was driving the car, so he gave ME a breathalizer. then he told me i was under arrest, and off to county i went. then the cop was trying to hit on me on the way there....i'm thinking, i'm the last person that you should be trying to get a piece of ass out of....GOD! so yeah, i'll be lucky if i will have a restricted license after the 29th.
on the bright side, i had a nice night with joe revard last night. we watched to movie ray, and he actually made a move on me, i couldn't believe it. so yeah....i won't go into detail, but it was nice. so yeah....i hope something good comes out of that, but if not, i'm not gonna get all upset over it. i cuddled with his dog dollar last night instead of him lol, i told him dollar was the real reason i came over lol. the good thing about having whatever i have with joe right now is, he has a lot of advice to give legally lol. infact he has court tomorrow in indiana. he said he thinks he will get his license back tomorrow, his stepmom is gonna buy him a truck too. i told him that was a good thing cuz now when i lose my license, he can come and get me for once lol. i slay myself.
i have to give a speech on asbestos poisoning tomorrow....woopee! we'll see how that goes i guess lol.
well thats about all i have to say for right now. i will ttyl
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| i'm bored |
[17 Nov 2004|11:54am] |
hey,
right now i'm just killing time before i have to go to class. my next class starts at 12:30....i hate having time in between classes cuz there is nothing to do.
after my next class i'm going to go home and take a shower. then i'm going to fill out my application for girlfriends. my mom said that they might want me to work this saturday. i guess it will be cool to have a little more pocket money. then later on i have to get my oil changed....maybe i won't do that....maybe i'll procrastinate a little more lol. yeah those are my definant plans for today anyways.
i might call chip later. i feel kind of bad cuz i didn't answer his phone call the other night. i dunno...he's a really nice guy, but i want a guy my age right now. i want a guy that i can introduce to my mom. i want a guy who i won't have to have a secretive relationship with. so yeah i don't exactly know what to say to him.
i went to the movies with him on sunday, and it went pretty well i suppose. theres something about him that i just can't really connect with though. plus he's a stripper at chip n' dales.....how would i explain that to my mom lmao.
i really like this guy named andy that works in OIT. i think he likes me to, but i don't want to be too forward lol....i've learned in past experiences that doesn't work. tomorrow i'll probably see him while i'm working. i'll ask him if he's going to brooklyn boyz again. he has to be to work every morning at 8 though, so he usually says no. but then sometimes he'll go, and then he'll give me shit because he didn't see me there. i was like wtf! if you say your not going to go....i'm probably going to think your not gonna go!! i dunno, i just feel really comfortable around him. he's really easy to sit there and talk to. even though most of our conversations are just fake arguments lol. at least we're entertaining to everyone else who listens to our conversations.
well i'm gonna go walk around aimlessly and try and pretend like i have something really important to do lmao. story of my life right there!
jenn,
if you read this...that show is this sunday at 3. i'll give you a call later though just incase you don't get a chance to read this.
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| there comes a time when a blind man says "can't you see?" |
[25 Oct 2004|10:19am] |
hey,
okay, heres a word of advice......never get really fucking drunk and try to talk to guys you like. bad things will happen.....believe me.
so yeah dave came over to ryan's the other night....and things were going smoothly...nothing out of the ordinary.....then my drunken stupidity kicked into hyper-drive.
so dave is sitting there talking to me and we both stood up and i decided it would be a good idea to try and kiss him. well he actually started to kiss back but then he was like i want to but i can't. man i wouldn't take no for an answer lmao.
then later on we were talking and he was like your a great girl but right now i just need time for myself...i just need to be alone in my life right now. and then he was like besides, we would hardly have any time to see each other because i work 70 hours a week. so i made the brilliant point by saying "well if you work that much we'd only have to see me like once a week!" then he made this wierd face and i was like "10 minutes a week dave!!!"
so that was my drunken, pathetic act of desperation....i'm so mad at myself!!
sparks is a hell of a drug, hell of a drug!!! j/p
other than that i guess i'm doing okay lol. dave called ryan i guess and he was talking about what happened, and he told ryan that he just wasn't ready for a relationship right now. and he said its not that he doesn't like me, its just he had a really long relationship before this and he doesn't want another one right now.
god i'm an asshole....well thats all for now lol. bye!
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| howdy |
[20 Oct 2004|12:03pm] |
hey,
okay so i sort of had a pep talk with ryan and emily last night lol. ryan actually made a good point. he told me that i should call dave today. he said that i have nothing to lose. and then of course i was like well what if he doesn't like me and then i'll feel like an ass. he was like dave isn't the kind of person you have to feel like an ass around. he's like here is your ultimatum.....you can either call him...ask him to hang out and maybe he'll say yes and maybe he'll like you....or he'll say no and he won't like you the same way you like him.....either way your going to gain a great friendship out of the situation. he was like you can't lose brooke.
i was just sitting there and i was like way to make a lot of since ryan....shit like that isn't suppost to come out of your mouth lmao. so yeah i'm gonna call him after my next class and i'll take it from there. i guess if i don't do it i'll sit here and drive myself nuts wondering about it ya know?? i gotta get some balls lmao. well i guess thats all i really have to say for right now. i have way too much time before my next class. i'm not exactly sure what to do with the time.
bye!!
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| hey |
[18 Oct 2004|12:11pm] |
hey,
well my life right now isn't too overwhelmingly exciting i suppose. i'm just consumed with work and school....but mostly school lol. classes aren't so bad, except for math....i haven't had a math class since sophmore year. oh well...i think i'll make it through....i just don't think i'll get at A.
my love life is.....i dunno i'll tell ya if i make any progress lol. i was going to go on this date with ryan's friend joel. he asked me out and i was kind of weary about it...but then he wouldn't give up on it so i just said yes and i figured why not give it a shot right? man i should have gone with my first instinct about the guy. after i said i would go on a date with him, he literally acted like he owned me. it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. he was like putting his hand in my shirt and forcing me to sit on his lap...and.....it was just bad and really scary ok!!!
so yeah he called me the next day and wanted to ask me out to dinner.....i didn't answer. way to run away from the situation brooke. oh well....i'm sure he'll get the hint sooner or later. i'm sorry you just can't treat people like that.
so there is this guy i like....his name is dave. i don't know if he likes me though. he hangs out at ryan's every now and then....and he's just so adorable. he's like a little puppy dog....man i love puppy's. but yeah i'm too chicken shit to ask him to hang out with me sometime or something like that...so i dunno i guess we'll see what happens. i sometimes get the feeling that he likes me though...and emily thinks the same thing....hmmm....contmeplative lol.
alright well i'm starting to sound like a babbling teenage girl again so i'm gonna stop myself.
bye!!!
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| and all i really want is some peace now....... |
[02 Sep 2004|01:44pm] |
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mood |
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curious |
] |
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music |
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alanis morisette |
] |
hey,
well last night i ended up going to kev's house with ryan and we sat there and chilled for a while. i stayed at "emily's" last night......i don't wanna talk about it lol.
i was supposed to have class yesterday from 12:30-1:55. yeah when i got there, the teacher had left a note on the door saying she was ill and to read chapter 1 for next week. yeah the books aren't even in yet....so i would be quite interesting in how she expects up to pull that one off.
today i have to work from 2:30-9. after that i think i'm gonna be hanging out with melissa...i'm not sure though. yeah melissa if you read this give me a call...if i don't answer just leave a message.
man you would think i would have a lot more to say considering its been a decade or two since i last wrote in here.
i hung out with amber for a little bit yesterday.....that was nice. we should hang out more often ambie. thanks for talking to me on the phone today amber.....you calmed my nerves a bit. i wuv you lol.
brooke
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| everybody knows the way i walk and knows the way i talk and knows the way i feel about you |
[06 Jul 2004|09:16pm] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
] |
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music |
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ryan adams |
] |
hey,
well i've been working a lot lately....but i have the next two days off and i'm excited! last night i met baker at his house to give him back his sweater. i stayed there for a while and we were talking....then we decided it would be really cool to go to the beach in caseville and sleep under the stars on the sand....so we did. it was such a great time. it just felt so free....its just what i needed.
our original plan was to go swimming...but it was really fucking cold. we attemted to though....so we took off all our clothes.....then we stepped in the water and decided that would just be a bad idea lol. so instead we just walked up and down the beach....danced, laughed, talked, just had a great time. man i love going for naked walks...and dancing naked....man i love being naked lol. i seriously would be naked all the time if i could.
i ended up waking up at like 9 in the morning....and i was just so awake and i couldn't go back to sleep and i was pissed lol. baker woke up a couple hours later...then we headed home. i just can't even describe to you how great last night was....i wanted to hold onto the moments we had and never let them go.
amber and i are suppost to hang out tomorrow night! she might even come with me to ryan's house tonight if the stoop kids are hanging out. i dunno though....it might not happen. ryan's suppost to call me and let me know if they are doing anything. man i miss amber!!!
well thats about all i have for now kids.....ttyl bye!!!!!!!
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| dkfjdfh;dfh;sfhf |
[29 Jun 2004|12:02am] |
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nothing |
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yeah,
so i've been fairly good lately i suppose. i work 30 hours this week which is cool but not cuz my cousin is coming into town this weekend :(. i'm excited about going to wheatland this year!! i think about it every day lol....man i wish it was september!
so jenn and i went to vanderbelt the other night. it was tons of fun! these other guys came and helped us get our fire going....then they just randomly moved their party to our site. it was kind of funny. lots of people showed up....most of them i didn't really know....it was cool though. baker and andy showed up...so did shultz. they are all cool kids. yeah the only crappy part was i lost my keys because they fell out of my pocket. luckily jenn found them in the morning...i was freakin out though. the next day at work was hell. i had to be to work at 11....and i was there til 9. there were times during that shift that i didn't think i was gonna make it...but i pulled through.
i wanna go to vanderbelt again soon. maybe next weekend...i just hope i won't have to get up for work in the morning again....that just didn't work out so well. dave thought it was funny though. then again so did everyone else at work lol. everyone just kind of looked at me and they were like holy shit brooke....you look like hell! i did too lol....my eyes were like blood shot from not sleeping...i smelled like camp fire....and my hair was all fucked up....and my uniform was like half tucked in lol. at least i was on time and i did my shift lol.
none of the brooklyn boyz people showed up to vanderbelt. novolleno would have came but he was too wasted to drive there i guess lol. i'm kind of glad he didn't show up. no....i'm really glad he didn't show up lol. thats all i would have needed was him drunk and me drunk....and yeah....you fill in the blanks on what could of happened in that situation. i don't ever wanna be in that kind of situation with him....EVER. EVER!!!
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| yeah...i just suck |
[21 Jun 2004|10:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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iron butterfly |
] |
hey,
well today was okay i suppose. jenn and i had a pretty good time today despite the fact that the record store was closed!! we ended up going to markie's. he's a nice kid. i drove around like no other....i just didn't wanna be home today.
when i came home tonight my mom told me that she didn't think i should work at brooklyn boyz. she told me that she didn't know why exactly....she just has a really bad feeling about it. she said it was like dad was trying to tell her something. yeah that kind of made me feel odd. i'm not exactly sure what to take on that one. all i know is i'm done with whatever novelleno and i had. i don't wanna be a bad person anymore....i wanna be a good person. thats not something a good person would do. i'm completly done with it. don't get me wrong...i still value him as a friend and i always will. we're able to have great conversations together...and i don't want that to go away. i dunno...he's just going to have to accept the fact that if he touches me one more time....he just might get slapped. i can't do this to myself anymore.....i don't deserve to be fucked over anymore. but then again maybe the whole thing with baker is just pay back for all the wrong i've done.
yeah thats another thing. i was finally trying to start a normal relationship with someone. baker told me last night that he would still like to get together and talk about things like all night. yeah he never called again tonight and he was suppost to. it makes me feel so crappy when he does that. i dunno....he's sort of confusing i guess. whatever....i guess i deserve to get fucked over again for all the wrong i've done in the past. i just suck.
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| cat stevens is amazing........ |
[17 Jun 2004|11:41am] |
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my brother got my dads old record player up and running again for me. i can't pull myself away from it. i know it sounds odd or stupid or something......but not having this thing made me feel so empty. i feel so much better with it being in my room....i don't know how to describe it.
anyways.....baker never called again last night. i give up...fuck it. i can't handle mind games anymore....i seriously can't. its just really depressing. i felt really happy for a while ya know?? and now i'm left with horrible thoughts in my mind about myself. i can't help but wonder whats wrong with me?! why does every guy i have strong feelings for always decide that being with me isn't such a good idea. i dunno maybe i'm throwing things out of proportion....but i can't help but feel that way when we were suppost to hang out the last 3 nights in a row...and yeah theres always something that comes up that makes it so he can't. i know its his last week of school and thing are prolly quite hectic for him right now....but lately he's just been showing lack of interest in me...thats all. i dunno...i'm sorry..i just can't help but feel that way about the situation ya know??
well thats all i got for now....bye
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| ummm......yeah |
[14 Jun 2004|10:48am] |
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hey,
well my party was awesome. i wanna have a graduation party everyday!!! it was just such a good vibe all day ya know?? my cousin heather and baker started playing their guitars together...then i sat down with them and started singing. it was just so great. i'm pretty sure all my friends and stuff had a good time as well. especially my brother....oh man i've never seen him that drunk before!!! he was like going around telling everyone that he loved him....i saw him fall a couple of times too.....i love that kid lol. so yeah thanks to everyone that came to my party on saturday.....i had a blast partying with all of you.
kevin baker and i are suppost to hang out later tonight when he gets out of work. i think we're gonna go to the riverwalk....that should be nice.
well thats all i got....ttyl kids!!!
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| hey |
[07 Jun 2004|08:08pm] |
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hey,
so last night was crappy......but then it got fun so its cool. my car broke at the river walk....i was pissed. my car and i aren't speaking right now....we're totally fighting.
so after i got done yelling at my car....dave came and got us and amber him and i went to this kid named zach's party. it was awesome cuz he had a bon fire!! i was so turned on!!!
a few more kids came over after we did....not a huge party though. jeremy tetreau came over and it was nuts cuz i haven't really talked to him since 7th grade. anyways yeah they were all pretty cool kids. i drank a little bit with them cuz amber was driving obviously since my car was being a gay fag.
i think i'm gonna go to the texan tonight with amber juliason kari autumn and mel. that should be pretty fun. well thats all i got right now so i will ttyl bye!!!!!!!
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